- All massively expensive to make games should also ship a text adventure version. Yes, even if it’s a live service game. Especially if it’s a live service game.
- If a game has reached five entries into a series, it should be legally obliged to provide a kart racer set in the series. Even yearly sports franchises. Think about this: Football Manager Kart. Thank you.
- The third videogame in every series must replace one vowel with the number 3 in the title.
- Game characters that deserve to have had their videogame adventures continued and evolved into still deeply faithful multi million dollar series
- Horace
- Zoot (pictured)
- Gribbly
- Mrs Mop
- Alcatraz Harry
- Every store page description of a game should contain a quote from one of the developers or publishers describing the game as “Absolutely Brilliant”
- Videogames should scare old people by sometimes opening with a lenslok screen on load. Make it so super random and rare that nobody believes it’s happening and whoever told the internet about it is immediately considered to be lying. For a laugh.
- Every grimdark videogame should, at one point, be legally required to include either the theme from Bubble Bobble or the Wii Shop Channel music, or both, alongside the grimdark without adjusting any other parts of the game, including the quests. It must remain entirely lacking in self awareness and fully replace the usual music.
- The player should be able to glitch through the floor in every videogame, not just in 3d games. For example: Tetris.
- Every videogame should ship with a big head mode. Even text adventures and grand strategy games.
- In games where you’re required to have a conversation with an NPC, there should be a chance that the NPC will either fall over or begin floating away, mid conversation. The conversation must, of course, continue as though nothing happened.